What a frustrating day. I feel horribly unatrractive, I've been in the library all day and I ate...
cottage cheese
a brownie
a handful of gummi bears
cheese crackers
raisins
almonds
whole wheat pasta and sauce

Ughhh... probably 1500? 1600 calories? I'm just so stressed out, I'm trying to eat my feelings, I know I am, and I didn't even have time to work out. I've been just into the 160's the past 3 days and I know that this will bump me back into the 170's. ARGH.

Tomorrow:
9:30- hike 2 hours
12:00- 160 cottage cheese
12-2:00- study 2 hours, laundry
2:00- 220 red beans
2-3:00- relax 1 hr
3:00-4:00- study 1 hr
4:00-6:00- pack
6:00- 50 broccoli, 200 almonds, relax
TOTAL 630

ugh. I feel awful.

Well, day one was a complete bust, I binged up to 2000 calories! Stupid stress. Stupid me.

Anyways, I'm trying to figure out what I should do today...
I think I'll go for a walk 10-11
Shower, etc, head up to campus
Out to lunch... 600 cheese quesadillas
library forever
home, 120 cottage cheese, 100 apple
TOTAL 820

Then tomorrow...
240 cottage cheese
200 turkey
200 carrots
240 cottage cheese
TOTAL 880

Then Tuesday....
150 yogurt

WAIT, scratch that...

I will walk to the grocery store, a two hour walk, leave immediate, eat an apple on the way, and buy nuts, fruits and vegetables and then eat the rest of the dairy in my fridge for the next two days.

Okay, that's the plan. I am so scattered right now.

Cannot start eating only natural foods (nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables) until Tuesday, due to grocery issues. Bah. However, no more empty carbs. It's 5:00 and I'm at 850 calories. Growl. Let's see, I'll stay at the library until at least 7:00 and then head home and eat cottage cheese and grapes (150). That's 1000 even. Nice.

Tuesday I will go grocery shopping (ughhhhh, I do not have TIME for grocery shopping, but whatever).
Nuts: walnuts, almonds, cashews
Seeds: sunflower seeds
Fruits: strawberries, apples
Vegetables: cauliflower, peppers


Then, begin meal plan:
B- 1/4 cup nut mix, 1/2 cup strawberries
L- 1/4 cup nut mix, apple
D- 1/2 cup nut mix, raw cauliflower and peppers

I WILL do this.

Well, according to the losertown calculator...

Start at 172 lbs, 5'7'', D cup, wide hips, hourglass figuer, gain weight in stomach, have lots of muscle, work out a lot, have lost 10 pounds from high weight in past 3 weeks, gained weight because of depression and some medication I just went off of


Work out 4-5 times/week
Eat 1000 calories per day:

05/03/2008 168 yes, break into 160's!
05/10/2008 165
05/17/2008 162
05/24/2008 159 almost back to last summer...
05/31/2008 156
06/07/2008 153 feel almost okay again
06/14/2008 150
06/21/2008 147
06/28/2008 144 looking decent in a swimsuit... i.e. buy one!
07/05/2008 141
07/12/2008 138 YES high school weight, am no longer at all disgusting
to self! celebrate in a MAJOR way
07/19/2008 136
07/26/2008 133
08/02/2008 130
08/09/2008 128
08/16/2008 125 perfection for my body type ; )


So, in order to implement this, I plan on eating only nuts, seeds, fruits and vegetables and a multivitamin, as well as 8 glasses of water/day, no other liquids besides an occasional black coffee. I'm feeling really positive, and I will only weigh myself on the days listed, and if I don't mess up, we'll see how accurate this calculator really is...